Too
Much Commitment May Be Unhealthy For Relationships,
Professor Says ScienceDaily
(Dec. 3, 2008) — Romantic relationships establish special
bonds between
partners. Oftentimes, passionate rapport leads to permanent
partnerships, and ultimately, the
start of families.
Sometimes,
however, one or both partners place too much emotional weight
on their
relationship. As a result, men or women may tend to evaluate their
self-worth solely based on
the outcomes of their romantic interactions. This is what psychologists term as relationship-
contingent self-esteem (RCSE), and,
according to University of Houston researcher Chip
Knee, it's an unhealthy factor in
romantic relationships.
"Individuals
with high levels of RCSE are very committed to their
relationships, but they also
find themselves at risk to become devastated when something goes
wrong -- even a relatively
minor event," said Knee, UH assistant professor of
psychology and director of the university's
Interpersonal Relations and Motivation
Research Group. "An overwhelming amount of the
wrong kind of commitment can
actually undermine a relationship."
Knee added that
RCSE can trigger depression and anxieties during even the most minor or
common relationship-based incidents, such as miscommunication,
short spats over noncritical
matters or a critique of one's personality or
appearance.
It also factors
into one or more partners developing manic, obsessive (or
needy) behaviors with
regard to love.
RCSE might place
one at risk for serious mood changes after break-ups, divorce or threats to
one's relationship. Identifying it during the early stages
of a relationship can prevent such
negative outcomes or help partners recognize that they
are incompatible.
Knee and a group
of researchers observed the impact of RCSE among heterosexual college
students in a series of studies. Their findings were
presented in the paper "Relationship-
Contingent Self-Esteem - The Ups and Downs of Romantic Relationships," published in the
flagship Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology.
Collaborating
with Knee were Amber L. Bush of UH, Amy Canevello of the University of
Michigan and Astrid Cook of Idiro Technologies.
Included in
these studies was a 14-day diary procedure in which 198
participants recorded the
most positive and negative events in their romantic
relationships.
Also documented
in this daily diary were participants' feelings about
themselves and their
relationships.
"What we found
with this particular study was that people with higher levels
of RCSE felt
worse about themselves during negative moments in their
relationships," Knee said. "It's as if it
doesn't matter why the negative occurrence
happens or who was at fault. The partners with
stronger RCSE still feel badly about
themselves."
Individuals with
RCSE also are prone to react more emotionally to relationship- based
situations, Knee added.
Instead of taking a step back, analyzing a situation and determining
how to best address it, those with RCSE respond
immediately and impulsively.
"When something
happens in a relationship, these individuals don't separate themselves from it,"
he said. "They immediately feel personally connected
to any negative circumstance in a
relationship and become anxious, more depressed
and hostile."
RCSE is one of
the research areas being explored by Knee and UH's
Interpersonal Relations
and
Motivation Research Group (IRMRG).
The group
studies close relationships and health and conducts research
via laboratory
experiments, surveys and longitudinal diary methods.
Research is
focused on how individuals' beliefs about relationships guide
their thoughts,
emotions and behaviors; the unhealthy ways in which people
attach themselves to close
relationships; and how to reduce or even eliminate
interpersonal defensiveness.
University of
Houston (2008, December 3). Too Much Commitment May Be Unhealthy For
Relationships, Professor Says. ScienceDaily.
Retrieved December 5, 2008, from
http://www.sciencedaily.com
/releases/2008/12/081202170828.htm
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